Want to be happy? Be grateful!
by David Steindl-Rast
Posts tagged gratitude
Happiness Begins with Gratitude
If we want to be happy, and who doesn’t, then we must focus our energy on what is rather than dwell on what isn’t. “To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us – and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him.
Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.” Thomas Merton
Developing a heart of Gratitude is perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself or for others.
Cicero once said that “Gratitude is not only the greatest virtue but the parent of all others.” If you trust Cicero, then obviously the best thing you can do for yourself is be grateful and the rest of the joy in life will follow.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie
Sermon Notes: Sermon Notes 11.24.13 A Grateful Life
The Spirit of Thanksgiving
thanksgiving is a special time for me and my family. It connects us in a spiritual way and speaks to us of a deeper reality than the Pilgrims, turkey or cherry pie can even begin to capture.
I suspect if we only looked at Thanksgiving as a feast of mega proportion and fuel for our Black Friday Buying Bing, then life will seem like a race of accumulation, totally without meaning, purpose or depth. That may work for you as long as your money and health hold out, but take them away and Black Friday really becomes “deathly black” indeed.
Robert Lewis Stevenson understood best our need for a time of gratitude and thanksgiving when he said “The person who has stopped being thankful has fallen asleep in life.” On this Thanksgiving Holiday, pity the atheist who has a deep need to be grateful, but no one to be grateful to.
I wonder this year if how we approach Thanksgiving isn’t a lot like how we approach Heaven. How many, I wonder, intentionally stopped and took time to be grateful this holiday , count their treasures in terms of friends, family and faith, or bow in humility for the life they have the future before them? What if you were too busy, too much to get ready for, to many task left to do or perhaps you just didn’t see the need. You would be the poorer and your dinner would be about food and not much else.
Now consider Heaven, how many I wonder, will stop in the midst of their busy lives to receive Heaven? How many take Heaven as a given and not a gift? What if you were too busy, too much to accomplish, to many task left to do or perhaps you just didn’t see the need. How many will miss Heaven completely because they were too busy to receive it, even in death? Remember the story of the 10 lepers? (read about it here)
The greatest disease of the human heart – ingratitude. Ingratitude says “I’m entitled to it, I deserve it, I can’t live without it.” Ingratitude steals the wonder from every miracle, the passion from every relationship, and the faith from every obstacle. There is but one cure I know of – a Thankful Heart.
The Spirit of Heaven offers us these priceless gifts for our lives that will shape and mold our character and spirit through the year.
(1) Thanksgiving invites us to Celebrate the Past – so many grieve what was lost without ever seeing what was gained. Whether it was the loss of a loved one or the passing of a dream, we grieve the past and all what might have been. Thanksgiving allows us to look upon the past through new eyes and see that we have been blessed in the journey.
“He has lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire…” Psalm 40:1
I may not be where I want to be, but thank God, I’m not where I used to be!
(2) Thanksgiving offers us Courage for the Present – sure there will be moments of doubt, rainy days, and obstacles to overcome. Bring them on, I say, for life is made of adventure and challenges. We were not made to be spiritual couch potatoes, but navigators of the life’s deeper meanings. We cannot fathom the depths of our spirit without venturing into deeper waters and that may mean rough seas and being seasick from time to time. Thanksgiving allows us to celebrate the good, bad and ugly as part of our life story. We can and we will face today with hope, optimism and FAITH.
“None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.” Psalm 40:5
(3) Thanksgiving give us Confidence in Tomorrow – We live in uncertain times. We always have and I suspect we always will. To share in a time of thanksgiving is a reminder that God is with us. With God to guide and comfort us we risk, we share, we live and we love without fear but with confidence.
Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. (Psalm 40:5)
“If we expect great things from God, We will attempt great things for God.”
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Thanksgiving Scriptures
1 Thessalonians 5.18 says, “Give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (CEB).
I’m glad it says “in every situation” rather than “for every situation.” While we may not like every situation we experience, the discipline is to be thankful anyway, even if only for the promise of God’s presence!
The Psalms talk a lot about giving thanks …
- “Let’s come before him with thanks!” (Psalm 95.2)
- “Enter his gates with thanks.” (Psalm 100.4)
- “Give thanks to the LORD because he is good.” (Psalm 106.1, and others)
I also love what Paul writes in Colossians …
- “Be rooted and built up in him, be established in faith, and overflow with thanksgiving just as you were taught.” (Colossians 2.7)
- “Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3.17)
- “Keep on praying and guard your prayers with thanksgiving.” (Colossians 4.2)
3 Questions Every Christian Must Answer
I had to take my car into the garage last week for a tune-up. It was running very rough and wouldn’t even idle when in gear, which meant I had to put it in neutral every time I came to a stoplight or traffic slowed down. What a pain! I think it was actually misfiring on one of the cylinders which made it seem like I was driving a tractor down the highway. When I took it into the garage, they asked me a few basic questions like ‘what sounds is it making’, ‘how is it driving’ and ‘when did you first notice the problem.’ Of course I already knew there was a problem, I just really didn’t know where and I need their help and experience. After a few tests they dug into the engine and found that one of the spark plugs was cracked and not firing properly. Think about this for a minute, a small two dollar spark plug, easily replaced, was draining the whole car of its power and purpose and making it miserable to drive.
Do you feel like your getting no where in life, drained of power and purpose, anxious about the future and, not to take the analogy too far, not firing on all cylinders? What do you say we do some diagnostics on your spiritual life shall we?
First of all I’m making an assumption here that the reader knows who Jesus is according to the Bible, has accepted Jesus’ challenge to “Come, follow me” as a disciple, and is in the ‘process’ of becoming a new person as part of the Body of Christ which is the Church. I know that sounds like a lot, but it is fundamental to the three questions that are to follow.
We could not, for example, run the same diagnostics on a car that we would on a airplane or a locomotive. Even though they all have engines, they are totally different in their purpose, design and function. We have to know whether or not we are living the same kind of spiritual life, the same awakening, before we diagnose it’s health.
OK, so you’re a Christian. Great! Now let’s dig into the heart of the matter…
Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (10 being outstanding)
How well are you following through on this most fundamental life principle?
Am I in love with Christ? (i.e. open, honest, intimate, solitude, unashamed)
Am I growing stronger in Christ? (i.e. in wisdom, forgiveness, discernment, confidence)
Am I reflecting more of Christ? (i.e. daily, everywhere to everyone, calm, contented, confident)
“Faith is like electricity. You cannot see it, but its power bring light and warmth to to the soul.” ~ S. Gedon see Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s description of Discipleship
How well is the Christ-life shaping your attitudes and expectations?
Am I more grateful? (worshipful, humbled, surrendered, forgiving)
Am I more generous? (willingly, abundantly, joyfully)
Am I more gregarious? (outgoing, joyful, enthusiastic, optimistic)
How is the Christ-life experienced by those around you?
Am I more Compassionate? (caring, empathetic, aware)
Am I more of a servant? (connected, engaged, doer, surrendered)
Am I more engaged with people? (outside the church, poor, marginalized, broken)
“We either add to the darkness of indifference … or we light a candle to see by.” — Madeleine L’Engle
Eventually my car got fixed with only a few a minor repair, but I know that I must continue to check the oil regularly, tire pressure and look for subtle clues that things are not quite right before something big jumps up and bites me with a huge repair bill. Remember the old adage, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
Perhaps if we do just a little self-evaluation every now and then in our spiritual lives perhaps we can avoid a major breakdown later on. When all cylinders are firing we really can have a Christian walk with Christ that is as full, vibrant and taking up places and seeing things we never knew possible.
In the next few weeks I will outline a few steps to help get us back on track if you’re feeling like you’re spiritual engine is idling a bit rough. As long as the spark is still there, the engine can be tuned to perfection. Look for it and share your thoughts.
Was this helpful to your spiritually? What additional questions, problems or concerns did it raise?
Stewardship: A Way of Life
God, What do you want to do through me this year with the life and gifts you’ve given me?
Stewardship as a way of life has amazing implications for our relationships and our daily lives. It expands the horizons of our world and provides direction and focus to our busy lives. When we commit ourselves to live a life that recognizes God as the creator and center of all things, when we receiving all that we are and have with gratitude and then reflect that joy by serving others, then we can truly say we are His disciples.
The journey of a disciple’s life is one of intense joy, fulfillment and satisfaction. The early disciples lived in this spirit of gratitude and service and we can find the same passion by living as authentic stewards of the life we’ve been given, using gifts we possess and responding to the opportunities that lie before us. Stewardship is more than raising money; it’s a way of life.
Download FUMC Stewardship Pledge Form.
Together We can make 2012 the best year yet for sharing God’s love.
Love Forgives
40 Days of Love, Week 4
"Let LOVE be your Highest Goal!" 1 Corinthians 14:1
Discipleship – When we change the way we think, then it’ll change the way we feel and it will change our behavior. Sometimes we think we can change others, but we can’t. However, we can change ourselves. Look what happens to an angry man according to Proverb 11:29. Read the instruction how a man should treat his wife in Colossians 3:19. The bible is filled with instructions how we should pattern our mind to think and the results when we do and don’t follow these ways. Is there an angry person or people you need to get away from? If so, get guidance and do it. What behaviors and customs of the world might be influencing your anger? How can you remove these from your life? What action can you take to re-pattern your mind to changing the way you think? Pray about it and write down three commitments for change.
Love Forgives (early service)
Love Forgives (late service)
Sermon Notes — bulletin10.23.11E Nineteenth Pentecost
Sermon Slides — Worship 10.23.11 40 Days of Love wk 4
Our Values: Mission Minded
“I will say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be Free!’” Isaiah 49:9
The highest aim of mission-minded people is not self-protection but self sacrifice, to empty themselves of themselves in order to be used by God and filled with the Spirit of God. They know first hand what addictions do to people but they are willing to go where others will not to bring healing, renewal and hope to those others have written off. They are willing to set aside personal comfort, convenience and control in order to touch the lives of those still too frightened to believe. They’re willing to be inconvenienced, discomforted, and spent all “to live a life worthy of the calling which we have received.” Ephesians 4:1
Theologian Christopher Wright wrote that, “It is not so much that God has a mission for his church in the world, but that God has a church for his mission in the world…mission was not made for the church; the church was made for mission—God’s mission.”
More often than we realize, we confuse the church for the mission. As Wright said, the church does not necessarily have “a mission” as much as God’s mission of redemption has a church.
There is an intentional phrasing here. Today, “missional” is a popular church word. It’s a good phrase, but it carries a little baggage. Being mission minded is an effort to balance the realities that the church was made for God’s mission and that the church is itself a mission (in that God is consistently working in His people, transforming us to reflect the character of Christ.)
When we keep both of these things in front of us, they actually balance one another out. If we forget that God is actively working in us to change us, we can become consumed with being “on mission” and end up feeling morally superior to those we are sent to serve. We serve them not because they need us, but rather we serve them because of Christ work within us.
On the other hand, if we fail to see that the church was made for God’s mission, we end up huddled together and failing to be the instruments of redemption that we were created to be.
Our expectation is this: as we become more Christ centered and live lives driven by the Kingdom of God, we naturally become Mission-Minded people whose focus is on God’s mission to advance His kingdom here on earth not on building our own little kingdoms.
Being mission minded allows us to speak with confidence about the power of the Gospel without being condescending because the Gospel keeps us from basing our identity on the approval of others. Because our value is centered in the Gospel and our lives are Driven by Grace, we do not feel the need to win arguments or prove ourselves through evangelism. We proclaim the Gospel because we love people and we love people because God first loved us.
As a Mission-Minded church we have true hope for everyone. The gospel has produced a real hope that sees no one as hopeless, every life as a miracle in the making and every situation as a potential transformational moment.
As Mission Minded People…
- We are committed to avoiding ‘we-them’ language, or language that separates people of different political, spiritual, social positions, or is disrespectful of people who we disagree. Instead we engage people by humbly admitting our own weaknesses and failures, while demonstrating the joyful difference the Gospel makes.
- We are committed to sincerely listening to people and their stories. We want to understand, love and respect them unconditionally, and serve them by showing them how the Gospel meets their deepest longings.
Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
Prayer of Sir Francis Drake, December 1577
Our Values: Kingdom Focus
Kingdom Focus
“Love each other with genuine affection,and take delight in honoring each other.” Romans 12:10
The Kingdom is our true home, the place we most long to be and the place where Christ in all and through all and above all. In the Kingdom of God people experience life differently than they do in this world, they delight in serving one another without recognition or reward, they walk into your life when everyone else walks out, and they comfort one another with the resurrection story. Even in their pain and sorrow, they revel in God’s Presence and shine with confidence.
The Kingdom of God is the pursuit of a different kind of life, one based on reckless generosity, gracious hospitality, and healthy relationships. But like any Kingdom, its ways are foreign to us, its culture distinct, and it’s values rather shocking. To live here and feel at home among its people, we must be willing to give up our ways and be intentional about learning its ways.
The Kingdom of God is not a place waiting for you when you die, but an ongoing expression of the life of Christ today.
Read Part 3 – Mission Minded
Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
Prayer of Sir Francis Drake, December 1577
What is Gratitude?
Are you a grateful person? Can you list the 10 things you will miss the most when you die?
“Gratitude changes the way we start the day, spend the day, and look back at the day. It defines us as people who value our relationship with God and those He’s placed around us.” – Nancy Leigh Demoss, Choosing Gratitude (Moody, 2009)
10 Commandments of Marriage [part II]
Commandment #5 — Honor Thy Spouses Past
For the last several weeks I’ve been mulling over the relationship between the 10 commandments as given to Moses in Exodus 20 as a model for relationships. I see the experience between God and the Hebrews at Mt. Sinai as kind of a marriage covenant. If we then take it all one step further, we can think about how we relate to one another through the lens of these commandments. I realize, of course, that I’m making a stretch with some of these and if you feel I’ve some how desecrated God’s Holy Word, I beg your forgiveness. My intention is not to be theological but more philosophical and thus create more questions than I answer. I intend to create a dialogue and spark some interest in the commandments as a helpful tool for today, not just a fact in the history books of ancient Israel. So having said all that, here goes.
Commandment #5 — Honor thy spouses family.
Most marriage consultants and eventually marriage counselors will tell you that there are some hot buttons in relationship that should just not be pushed. Criticizing your spouses family is one of them. By criticizing them you are in fact criticizing your spouse, their past, their personality you love, and the compassion that makes them love you. If you begin to belittle your spouse family, you are making fun of very sacred territory. Think about all your family has done for you, the way they have supported you, and the ways they have given you a future. If you don’t respect your spouses family, they you disrespect your spouse and disasters will be close behind.
Now believe me I realize that we don’t all get along with our in-laws and sometimes they drive us to the edge. The point here is not to play Polly Anna but to realize that this too is part of your spouse and if you want to love and honor your spouse, then you simply must respect their family.
On the flip side of this is your relationship with your own parents. Like it or not you are more like your parents than you realize. Psychologists tell us then even when we want to break away from the habits of our parents that may at times drive us crazy, when we are stressed and under pressure, we will eventually return to the same habits of our parents as an example of stability. All parents are accountable to God for the example they set for their children, and while there are plenty of dis-functional families in the world, we must learn to celebrate, honor, and respect the efforts our parents made on our behalf. Developing an attitude of gratitude will naturally cascade into our marriage relationship as well.
Look for the Next couple of commandments in the coming weeks.
Why VBS?
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of something so bizarre that you wonder how you ever got there? Sometimes those moments are tragic and find yourself just hanging on day by day.
Sometimes they are golden moments of joy that reminds us that God comes to us in the most amazing ways and through the most amazing people. I call these VBS moments. VBS is an acronymn for miracles that come to those who aren’t look for them. They’re usually buryed deep within the planning, the noise, the chaos, and the exhaustion. But they’re found in the smiles of parents who’ve learned to let their hair down and allow themselves the freedom to a child again. I see VBS happen when I see a child empy his piggy to help children in South Africa they’ll never meet [our mission project] and I think about Jesus and the widow with two pennies. I’ve seen children dance for Jesus and one little boy [4 yr] say he’s the best dancer for Jesus and I’m reminded of the healing by Peter and John, “they went walking and leaping and praising God.” I’ve heard parents say they never knew church could be this friendly and they discovered Christ through the smiles and laughter of community. VBS I get …
Here’s what I don’t get…
Why do some people prefer the tragic to the transformational. Some people are eager to weep/complain over the state of the culture, the economy, or the political scene, but refuse to degrade themselves and for one brief week let go and celebrate as a child of God and experience a VBS moment?
Maybe that’s the answer. What do you think?
Gratitude is a Choice!
Psychologist says a life of gratitude is a choice
Robert A. Emmons writes in book that thankfulness can lead to healthier lives
Dallas Morning News
If happiness is a choice, then why doesn’t everyone simply make that choice?
Robert A. Emmons answers that question in his new book, Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. He suggests specific techniques for implementing a consistent lifestyle of gratitude. And it is a choice, but it takes practice, he adds.
After years of work studying the subject scientifically, Emmons, a psychologist at the University of California, Davis, offers the findings he says demonstrate that gratitude can pro-duce a healthier, happier life- style.
While some people may view happiness as merely a vague feeling, Emmons believes that one’s perceptions can be mani- pulated to achieve contentment. He spoke recently with reporter Anita Curtis by e-mail. Here are excerpts.
Q: How does one look at gratitude as a science?
A: Science means that we apply scientific tools — observation and measurement — to the examination of, in this case, the feelings, perceptions and expressions of gratitude. It means that we replace armchair philosophy and moral rhetoric regarding gratitude with empirical observation of what gratitude is and the results of what it does in people’s lives.
Q: Were there findings that surprised you?
A: Yes, the physical-health findings. That people keeping gratitude journals slept 1/2 hour more per evening, woke up more refreshed and exercised 33 percent more each week compared with persons who are not keeping these journals.
Q: Is gratitude related to one’s religious beliefs?
A: Gratitude is at the core of all the major religions. Virtually every religion emphasizes gratefulness or thanksgiving. It is part of the ethical foundations of world religions which state that people are morally obligated to give thanks to their God and to each other.
In traditional Judaism, there is a custom of reciting 100 blessings a day. Thankfulness for everything is appropriate in Judaism because all things come from God in the Hebrew worldview, and therefore Jewish life is filled with this recognition. A prayer is said upon hearing good or bad news, and God is praised for everything. In this way, a divine perspective on life is kept. In Christianity — gratitude is the core of the gospel — thanks be to God for his indescribable gift of Jesus Christ.
Q: It’s easy to be grateful for good things that come to us. How can we also be grateful in times of loss?
A: We realize that there is more to life than our losses, and gratitude for life gives us a realistic perspective by which to view our losses and not succumb to victimhood or despair. The ability to perceive the elements in one’s life and even life itself as gifts would appear essential if we are to transform tragedies into opportunities.
Q: How can negative emotions be replaced with positive ones? Is it really just a matter of choosing which to focus on?
A: This is true. For example, one simply cannot be relaxed and stressed at the same time, nor grateful and resentful at the same time. Relaxation drives out anxiousness and vice-versa. You have to gain control over your emotional destiny by choosing to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. But you just can’t think happy thoughts or grateful thoughts, because emotions follow from particular thought patterns. So, perceiving life as a gift or things in one’s life as gifts is the royal road to gratitude.
